I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just blew my weed a kiss
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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