literally had 100 drinks last night.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
this will be a night to untag.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
