i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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