I look better un-naked...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
