it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize