There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
my sisters under your porch take her home
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
