"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
