break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I love black thongs
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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