Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Randomize
