I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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