Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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