You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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