yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
