Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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