Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize