I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
