Non-Jews are for practice
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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