it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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