I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
