We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
