i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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