woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So many bounce houses so little time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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