In America we eat man semen.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
