Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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