i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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