I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
