I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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