its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
