i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize