We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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