I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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