definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
