Soap is not a condiment
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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