Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
