If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
