my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
