When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
