Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
