Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
