I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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