My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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