So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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