Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
