we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
