If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
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