I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
