I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
