That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
