So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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