is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
