dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
