Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
