i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
