Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
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Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.