just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.