I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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