you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.