Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
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Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?