Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
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He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
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History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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