I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
