just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
