Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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