We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
