If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize