Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
