When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
