butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
