After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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